How I'm Making More Time For Myself

It sometimes feel that there are only two appropriate answers to the question of “how are you?”. The first is the well-know brush off of “I’m fine”, the second is the low-key brag of “oh, just so busy”. Busy has become synonymous with success in our society, with everyone constantly telling each other how busy the are either with work, side projects or personal commitments. It’s as though if we don’t tell people how busy we are then it doesn’t count. Telling people how busy you are has become the new taking a photo at the gym to prove you went, it doesn’t actually show how successful you are and people do not care. A lot of us are legitimately busy, taking on more than ever before and juggling multiple commitments, but the constant need to remind one another is dull, it doesn’t actually prove you’re busy and it really doesn’t impress anyone. Instead of constantly telling one another how busy we are maybe we should be telling one another how we’re taking some time to care for ourselves and manage the busy parts of our lives. 

We’re humans and so we are flawed and we are not invincible. We need to take the time to relax a little, sleep and recharge. It’s easy with everything that goes on in our everyday lives to ignore this need, to work more hours, to squeeze more in (hell, I’m writing this on a train home) and to push ourselves further. There’s certainly nothing wrong with having that drive & wanting to achieve more but we shouldn’t let our health and well-being slip to the bottom of that to do list so easily. This past summer I ended up pushing myself too much in many areas, I didn’t have a free weekend where I was at home for literally months and had weeks where I would be busy or have something scheduled in for most evenings. Yes it was fun but it made me ill, and not just a little cold and one that a quick spell in bed would fix. It wasn’t until I was on forced bed rest for a week that I realised that maybe I should be prioritising this a little more. Of course, bed rest for a week is a little extreme in most cases but even after a few days I felt more relaxed, my head felt clearer and suddenly things all seemed a bit more manageable. And it wasn’t my proclamations of being busy that got me better.

So with this in mind I’ve been taking more opportunities to prioritise my well-being on a more regular basis. I’m not saying that you should meditate everyday and only drink green juices (unless you want to), instead I have a few ways that I try and work in some self care to my days, weeks and months so I’m really taking the time out for me. Yes I’m busy, but so is everyone else and that isn’t a good enough excuse. Instead of thinking how busy I am, treating this as a priority has helped me to be more efficient and mindful of what I’m taking on so I have a bit more flexibility. 

I’ve found the little daily things I can do to be the most beneficial. They help to build more positive habits & prioritise something different in an otherwise manic day. For the past few months I’ve been ensuring I take my lunch break. It may not be a full hour every day but even just taking half an hour to wander outside or get away from my desk has made a big difference. A quick yoga session has also be beneficial. You don’t need to do an hour every night, just 10 minutes before bed helps to calm me transition myself into a different mindset before bed. Early nights are significantly underrated. Even if you don’t get to sleep any earlier, getting into bed with a good book & relaxing a little earlier can be the perfect way to help you drift off a little earlier than usual. Finally writing in a journal, it takes only a minute or two and there’s something about physically writing out what has happened in your day that really helps to let it go, even it’s it’s been a bad one. 

The things I try to do on a weekly basis tend to take a little longer or involve a little more effort. I often reserve them for a weekend or evening when I have a little more time. You’re not going to find me camping any time soon but getting outside, away from a city and more into nature really helps to relax me. It’s totally different to the environment that I’m used to and often the people around you aren’t quite so busy and rushing around either which is useful. Sometimes in the week it can be really hard to fit in the full 8 hours, maybe you stay late at work or have to get up super early, but at least 1 night a week try to have a really good nights sleep. Set your alarm a little later and allow yourself to recharge properly. Everything always feels more manageable after a good nights sleep and although in a ideal world we’d have good sleep every night it isn’t always possible. 

Although it isn’t for everyone, I personally find taking some time to look after myself and do some beauty treatments to be a great way to carve some time out for myself. Self care cannot simply be reduced to a nice bath and a face mask, but that isn’t to say that we should write them off as having no value in making us feel a little better. Taking 30 minutes to have s nice shower, apply a hair and/or face mask, shave my legs and paint my nails makes me feel so much better. It’s something that benefits no one else and can make you feel so much better. Another thing I like to do on a weekly basis is clean. Of course I do the day to day bits as needed but allotting a specific amount of time each week to deep clean at least 1 area of my environment makes so much of a difference. If you’re nervous or anxious then it can be a brilliant way to channel that excess energy, give you something lovely by the end of it and a real sense of achievement. It also helps you to keep on top of everything. 

There are also a few things that I like to make sure I do on a monthly basis to take more time for myself. These are often more time intensive and may take more effort to coordination but are often the ones that help me the most to really step away from things and feel like I have truly taken time for myself. Meeting friends is always a brilliant way to boost my mood and make me feel so much calmer. I love being sociable with the people close to me and spending time with friends is the best way to do this. Schedule the time in, stick to it and enjoy yourself. Most of us are in constant contact with people nowadays, or at least we have the ability to be, but nothing beats sitting down with a cup of tea to see how someone really is. On the other hand this is my other favourite way to take some time for myself, blocking out a day (or weekend) at home with zero commitments to do anything. As someone who does like filling their time I found this idea intimidating to begin with but actually these days have become so valuable. If I have a string of busy weekends where I’m away or seeing people then I really crave just a day in my flat doing whatever I like. Sometimes that getting life admin done, sometimes it’s going for a wander around the shops but more often than not it involves sleep, Netflix, a nice dinner and a bath. 

It’s easy for us all to get caught up in the hustle of life and all of its busy-ness. We’ve all been guilty of it but we don’t need to push ourselves to the edge, cramming something into every second to prove how successful or approved if we are. You have to take care of yourself, it’s no one else’s responsibility and no one else is going to do it for you. Whether it’s just quick little daily things or you start by blocking out days for yourself, make sure you do something that is just for you.