Why It's Ok To Not Love Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so we keep being told. The time when there should be nothing but merriment, celebration and joy for all. For so many it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of Christmas and the entire festive period. It’s a time that so many of us have happy memories from and it’s a time when we’re all encouraged to have a little more fun. In theory it’s lovely, but the reality is that for many it isn’t such a great time of the year. For whatever reason, the holiday season can feel far from merry and bright and if this is a time of the year that you find personally quite difficult then that’s fine, and here’s why.

Whilst most of us have so many happy memories from this time of year these memories can also be a source of a lot of pain. When the emphasis is placed on spending time with your loved ones it can feel even more difficult if they are not with you to celebrate. There is more pressure in December than at any other time to have that picture-perfect family, to be surrounded by loved ones and friends. Sometimes this simply isn’t an option, no matter how much you may want it, and it’s easy to feel like an outsider to the Christmas celebrations. Whether it’s a case of going through the motions but not feeling engaged at al or simply avoiding all celebrations, that feeling of isolation can easily creep in. Although this time of year is often seen as an opportunity for everyone to get together it can also leave you feeling totally alone. Loneliness can feel more apparent and even in a room full of people you can feel like you are all on your own. Explaining to people that you don’t love the holiday season can be met with some level of judgment, branding you a Scrooge or as miserable, even if that is so far from the truth. We all have the right to decide how we celebrate, if at all, and what we are comfortable taking part in. If your situation is now very different to how it has previously been then it is totally reasonable that you may want to duck out of the festivities for a time while you navigate this new reality.

Although it seems that we should soley be focusing on the fun, relaxing and joyous side of christmas it’s hard to ignore that it’s an incredible stressful time of year. The financial burden of Christmas seems to grow every year, with more people to buy for and more pressure than ever to keep up with everyone else. We all know, logically, how unnecessary it is, how spending money does not equate to love or gratitude and how there’s so much more to the entire holiday than how much money is sitting under the tree on Christmas morning. Yet despite this it can still feel overwhelming and its easy to get sucked into the hype. So many people spend excessively at Christmas only to spend the new year paying off the cost of the season. I think we can all agree that that’s no way to go into the new year. And if you don’t have the money in the first place then there is a whole other element to the worry and pressures of Christmas. Christmas isn’t about the money we spend or the number of gifts we buy, we all know that, but just knowing that isn’t always a simple way to cure the worry. If you can then it’s worth having the conversation with the people around you to opt to do smaller presents, set a price limit or simply skip out the presents this year in favour of time spent together. That is ultimately what this season is all about and what is truly important so try not to lose sight of that in the present-buying mayhem.

There’s also the added pressure to see everyone over Christmas and pack even more into our already-busy scheduels. There seems to be an obsession of seeing everyone you’ve ever met between the 1st and 24th December and personally I think this is ridiculous. It can be hard to say no and there’s the horrible feeling of never wanting to let anyone down but now more than ever it’s important that we are prioritising ourselves and our own wellbeing before pleasing everyone else. Of course we want to see the people we love at Christmas time, and people want to see us, but the constant feeling that you can only make people happy by being in two places at once is overwhelming and takes away from why you actually want to spend time with one another. It isn’t always possible to see everyone before or on Christmas but that doesnt mean you can’t celebrate a little later and that that the relationship doesn’t mean anything to you. If you can, try not to cram in all of your engagements before Christmas, save some until the new year and enjoy catching up properly and having something to look forward to once January rolls around. This year I’ve taken steps to make sure that I can actually enjoy the season a little more without having to worry about seeing everyone in the few weeks before Christmas. Keeping specific days or weekends free really has helped to manage the stress and give me some more time for myself.

Christmas can truly be one of the most magical times of the year and there are so many reasons why if nothing else, you should take the time at the end of the year to reflect on what you have achieved over the past 12 months. However, if the growing pressure to fit into that perfect ideal of what Christmas should be coupled with having to face some potentially painful memories and realities leaves you feeling as though you wish you could avoid the holiday all together then it’s worth remembering that you aren’t alone. You don’t have to love the season just because everyone else is telling you too, I think it’s more important than ever that we keep that in mind now.