We all know the cliched way to get over a break up; cut your hair, eat a tub of ice cream, go out and party, travel, whatever it is, we know how to get over a breakup when a romantic relationship ends. It's generally accepted that it's a crap time, it hurts, and it just isn't a pleasant thing to go through, even if it's for the best. However, what we aren't all so good at is friendship break ups. They're something that so many of us will go through multiple time in our lives as we change and grow but we don't discuss it. It's still horrible, it's still diffcult and it's still a time where you aren't going to be feeling like your best self and yet we never speak about it. 

We see the way that major arguments with friends can blow up, we know about (and have probably experienced) the petty fights that you'll have in school but as you go through adulthood you are faced with the times where you need to break up with a friend, and it may not be quite so clear cut. 

Friendship breakups, much like romantic breakups, can come about in so many ways. Maybe you grow apart, maybe you don't have the time to prioritise one another or maybe there a specific reason that triggers the breakup, a true friendship deal-breaker. However the breakup is initiated there is often a good reason. When you build a friendship you invest your time but you also allow yourself to share your vulnerabilities, something that isn't easy for most of us. To build a friendship you will need shared experiences, it's likely that you have had some brilliant times together, amazing memories that you will cherish for a long time. However, no matter how fond these memories are, there is no guarantee that they will give your friendship the longevity it needs though to survive all of the new challenges that life will throw at you, both as individuals and as friends.  

Of course, there are some friendship breakups that will be easier than others. Sometimes they come to a natural end, maybe you move or you change jobs or you leave university and life gives you the opportunity to naturally end the friendship and there is no bad blood felt. Sure, you may feel sad that this friendship has ended but you probably won't feel the same level of sadness as losing a close friend. Some friendships are only meant to work in the short time, friendships of connivence are all around us and certainly aren't a bad thing. They form because you spend a significant time with one another or it's beneficial for you both to be friendly. As a result, when these end it often isn't too traumatic. Sure it may be sad but often if the friendship is one you both want to maintain then you will put in the effort and it will continue. 

The freindship breakups that really suck though are the ones that aren't planned. The ones that maybe don't feel so natural but you know the need to happen. We can all have the tendency to focus on the good times that we have with people, the fun memeories that we have made over the years, but sometimes what we need to do is hold up a mirror and ask ourselves "Do I like myself when I am around this person?" or "Does friend bring out a better side to me?". As we navigate our way through adulthood we can find ourselves needing to ask these questions more an more. Of course, a  friendship may have served you very well when you were younger and you had different ideas of what you wanted, but as we grow up what we want naturally changes, sometimes this means friendships need to change too. Unfortunatly not all the friendships that we make along the way are able to adapt in this way. Sometimes it's a case of asking yourself the uncomfortable question and then making the right decision, no matter how uncomfortable the answer. 

Of course, like with any potential confrontation or relationship, there is a way to go about ending a friendship. It probably isn't going to be pleasant, whether you have an explicit conversation or more of a implied goodbye, but if you have reached this point it is probably necessary. Some friendships can be saved, maybe you need to call someone out on their behaviour or maybe you need to be called out on yours. Good friends should always be able to tell one another when they need to check themselves. But by the same measure, don't carry all of the blame on your shoulders. People change and it's only natural that friendships will end as you and your life changes. 

Regardless of how the breakup occurs though, it isn't a nice feeling. Ultimately you've said goodbye to someone who you no doubt spent some brilliant times with and learnt from. You're allowed to feel sad about it, you're allowed to feel frustrated and angry. You need to give yourself time to acknowledge what has happened as well as come to accept it. Whether you have ended the friendship because of something particular that has happened or because you know it is for the best, there will be times, just like with a romantic breakup, when it really does feel crap. As with all experiences in life though, there's always something to learn. Maybe it's an opportunity for you to re-evaluate what you want from a friendship and how you want to be as a friend. Often coming to accept that a friendship is over is actually liberating, it allows you to look back fondly on the times you did spend together instead of tarnishing how you now think of them or the situation. Getting to this point, however, may not feel great. 

Whatever the reason, you will start to feel better with time. And with any luck the friends you still have in your life will understand and will help you to see that you are surrounded by amazing people. Sometimes friendships just aren't meant to be. That's fine, but it doesn't mean it isn't a difficult time. And it certainly doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to be honest about it being crap.   

Suit: Zara

T-Shirt: ASOS

Boots: Topshop

Earrings: ASOS

Left Hand Ring: Independent Market Stall

Right Hand Ring: Monica Vinader