I am fortunate in that I am surrounded by ambitious and successful women all of the time. It's incredibly inspiring and motivating to see the people around you doing well and working hard to make the most of the opportunities that they have sought out. When the women around me achieve something great I always want to shout about it, I want them to know how cool it is that they have done this and how proud they should be of themselves. From a young age we are taught that women and girls should always be in competition. Competitiveness in itself is no bad thing, however the way in which young girls in particular are pitted head to head often lends itself to a bitchy, cut-throat culture that can be hard to abandon once we leave the playground. As a result,  celebrating someone else's successes can sometimes feel challenging. It isn't to say that you aren't genuinely happy for your friend who just got a big promotion but the happiness can be muddled in with jealousy and that feeling of comeptitvness. However, when we all start to support one another, shout out about the successes and share this it can be incredibly powerful, and we all need to start doing more of it.

The idea that there isn't room for everyone at the top is driven by the long engrained culture that we must always be in competition with one another. Sure, there may be a limited number of spots for world leaders, for CEO's or for top surgeons however this isn't to say there are no other options, and it's certainly not to only way to measure success. Variety is crucial in any industry, whether that's academic, creative or scientific. The more successful and ambitious women we can get into these positions the better, and there is room for us all. Seeing someone else doing what you want to do also doesn't mean that you can't do it, you can still bring something to the table and you will bring with it your own experiences and thoughts on any situation. That is valuable and should be encouraged. There isn't an allocated pot of "success" that only certain women can access, there is enough to go round, just define what success means to you and go after it. You can still support other women pursuing similar areas, in fact often you can learn from one another and benefit one another by supporting each other instead of blindly competing for no real reason. 

It often seems natural to feel that competitive edge and borderline jealousy when we are facing women who are either doing what we are doing or doing what we are striving to do. The feeling of there not being enough room at the top can feel particularly acute, however when you're doing entirely different things, when you are in different areas and have totally opposite ideas of what success means, that's when we really need to challenge ourselves as to why we aren't being more supportive. If there is room for us all in similar fields then there is definitely room for us all when we are doing our own things. We can't allow the jealousy in us to blindly stop us from supporting the other women in our lives who are doing so well and deserve celebrating. 

Of course, when you see the people around you succeeding and doing well those pangs of jealous may arise, it's natural and we all feel it from time to time. When we feel that way though it is never down to the other person, sure it may feel like they are rubbing their achievements in our faces, maybe they even are, but really you're the one that feels jealous and that's a "you" thing, not a "them" thing. It's a horrible emotion to feel, especially if you're feeling it towards someone you love, but it can't be the reason why you withdraw from shouting about other people's success when it happens. Instead I've found it more beneficial to turn that jealous on it's head; what is it that I am jealous of? Do I want what their definition of success is? What do I need to do to ensure that I am working towards my goals? Take the jealous feelings and turn them into your latest motivation to keep pursuing whatever it is that you love. And in the meantime don't forget to congratulate the friend, nothing helps to expel jealousy quite like confronting it head on and turning that "I wish it was me" into a "I'm so pleased for you, well done". It doesn't make it any less genuine and you don't have to worry about coupling in guilt alongside the jealousy.  

Supporting the people around us can feel amazing but like anything in life, when times are tougher it can feel more challenging to support the other people round us. If you're having a crappy time you may feel like you want to retract back into yourself, maybe you feel like you don't have the energy to be sharing it around to others and telling them how amazingly they are doing, maybe you just need to take the time to focus on yourself. That is all fine, and of course we all need to be prioritising ourselves and our own well-being more, but again, extending that offer of support or the congratulations can be a brilliant antidote. And often, especially if the people around you are aware that life is dealing you a tougher hand at the moment, that praise means even more. 

There are enough people in the world that will be willing to tear you down, to ignore your successes and to try to taint your opportunities, we need to make sure that not only are we not contributing to that but that we are also actively countering it. We can all still strive to do amazing things, set goals and smash them out of the park but it doesn't mean that we can't also support the other women around us and say well done when it's deserved. It's not only feels great for you but it can be an incredibly powerful thing to do for other people. You may be the only person that has noticed their success or who has congratulated them on something, likely it will mean more to then than you realise. We all need to have someone in our corner cheering us on from time to time, regardless of whether or not we have an amazing support network. Never underestimate how important that can be for someone else.

It may not always be easy to pass on your congratulations or celebrate someone else's success, maybe it just isn't something that comes naturally, but we should all still at least try. It feels amazing when you achieve something that you have worked hard for and people notice it, so lets all start doing that for other people too. We need to keep raising each other up and supporting the people around us when they do cool things; buy their books, read their interviews, celebrate their promotions. There is room for us all and we can all be successful, but in order to do it we need to start supporting one another more.