If you know me then it's no secret that I take my friendships very seriously. To me they are one of the most important things in my life and being a good friend is something I always strive for. When I was younger making friends was not something that always came very naturally to me. I was an awkward and anxious child plus I was painfully shy, not qualities that typically make you the most fun girl in the class. But as I've got older I like to think I've become much better at not only making friends but also being a good friend.

I'm fortunate that I can hand on heart say I have some truly incredible friends. The kind that really are there for you no matter the time, situation or place. Even in my lowest times they've pulled through and really been there for me when I've needed them more than I even realised. I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have these people in my life and I'm forever grateful for them.

With that though comes a real desire to be the best possible friend I can be, but sometimes it can seem a bit tricky. We are all busy, we have packed schedules and personal lives that are forever taking us down unexpected roads. Having enough energy to simply function can sometimes be challenge enough, let alone remembering to keep in touch with friends and make sure they're doing OK too.

This year or so its been something I've been thinking more and more about. We are all familiar with what it looks like to be a bad friend but how can we make sure we're being a good friend on the regular and not just when someone reaches out to us at a tough time? And how can we do this whilst still taking care of ourselves and our own wellbeing?

I don't think it needs to be complicated, it certainly doesn't need to be a chore but like with anything worth having, there is a level of effort that needs to go into friendships to make them work. And yes, that needs to come from both sides. I know that as much as I try I'm not the perfect friend (but then who is? We're only human afterall). I have plenty of qualities that I'm sure do my friends heads in, like not always knowing when to be quiet and having a tendency to dominate a conversation when I get overexcited. But I like to think that the good outweighs the bad (or at least I bloody hope it does!). So in my efforts to be a better friend here are some of the little things I've been trying to do recently.

Be there (and I mean really be there): It's kind of the number one pillar of friendship but it can be hard to do when we're all busy. Whenever I'm with friends now though I'm making more of an effort to put my phone away, dedicate time to speaking to them and not doing anything else whilst I'm on the phone. Giving that truly undivided attention can be difficult when we're busy with so many commitments but even if it's just for 15 minutes it’s a good way to remind friends that you really there for them in the good and the bad. 

Remember the important dates: I'm not just talking birthdays here but also holidays, new job start dates and even due dates. Pop them in your diary and drop them a text that morning or maybe even a card. I’m always so flattered when a friend remembers something that's going on in my life and its always nice to know that someone is thinking of you.

Send post, like real post: There's something so nice about receiving actual post, it always brightens your day. I find my friends love it when they receive a little something in the post so I'm trying to make more of an effort to send them little cards, postcards or other things that make me think of them when I see them. It doesn't have to be extravagant in the slightest but it can be such a lovely pick me up.

Pick up the phone: Some people hate taking on the phone and that's fine but personally I love it (shocking, the girl with a podcast likes chatting...). I've found my 20 minute walk home each evening to be the perfect excise to catch up with different friends, see how their week is going and generally touch base. You can't beat catching up in person the phone is a pretty good second. 

I’m sure most of us try to be the best possible friend we can be to those we care about but sometimes it can be tricky and it’s probably something most of us can do a little better, I know I certainly can. Good friends, the type that really will support you, judgement free, no matter what are rare so if you find one, or even a couple, then make sure you hang on to them and treat them well.