Charlotte Phoebe

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What I Learnt In 2016

Over the past few months it has become fashionable to hate on 2016. I know I'm not alone in thinking it was far from the best year yet but there were some really great moments scattered throughout the year. And like with any challenging time, 2016 opened up the opportunity for me to learn so much, not only about other people and life generally but also about myself and how I respond when life throws a curve ball. Before we run full-speed into 2017 I want to share the things that 2016 taught me.

Honesty is the best policy

We've been told this since the beginning but our parents were right, it's always best to tell the truth. It may not be easy, it may feel awkward and maybe even embarsssing but actually when you start to be honest, with yourself and others, things don't seem quite so complicated. It's so easy to get caught up in everything and go along with things but eventually it becomes exhausting and can get complicated very quickly. Whether it's a relationship with someone else, with your work or even with yourself, honesty is the best policy and guess what? You tell the truth and the world doesn't actually stop spinning.

Things aren't always as they seem

In our 24/7 digital world you can quickly become caught up in the glamour and projected image of perfection. With the right filter anything can look glamorous but it's important to remember that this is rarely the case. Whatever it is you're dreaming of or feeling envious of, just remember that your seeing an edited snapshot of the situation. It's easy to run away with these perfect ideals and feel envious towards anyone who may be living out your dream but behind the scenes it's probably a very different story.

Letting go is not the same as giving up

Whether it's a relationship, a friendship, career or long-term goal, when you work hard at something and it doesn't work out it can be heartbreaking. Not only do you have to deal with the dissapointment but throw in the feeling of quitting or that you've given up and you can work yourself into a state. Sometimes though some things really aren't meant to be. For one reason or another it doesn't work, it isn't the right fit and the best thing you can do is let go, walk away and carry on. It isn't necessarily easy but making that conscious decision to stop dedicating your energy to something that simply isn't right is not the same as giving up because things have become a little challenging. Be brave, let go and don't give yourself a hard time.

Time will keep going

When you're in the midst of something horrible it can feel as though time will never pass and that things will never be better. 2016 dealt out some truly horrendous hands and I was fortunate in that mine weren't as bad as others but that doesn't mean that when things are tough it can't be all-consuming. Whatever is thrown at you though, time will continue and at some point the day will be over. Nothing is permanent.

It's always good to support someone else

Throughout our lives, particuarly in school, you're always made to feel as though you're up against everyone else and in constant competition for everything. Whilst that is true in some respects it doesn't mean that you shouldn't support and congratulate someone when you see that they are doing a great job. I'm fortunate to be surrounded by amazing friends, all of who have achieved amazing things in the past year, and when I see them doing well it makes me so insanely happy & proud of them. Let the people around you know when you think they're doing well, it costs you nothing and could easily make their day. It might be easier to tear someone down but it's sure as hell nice to say something supportive.

Luck has nothing to do with it

It's easy to throw around the phrase "oh but they're so lucky" when you're looking at someones beautiful holiday snaps or new handbag. Sure some things are down to a little bit of luck (my long legs for example are not something I exactly worked for) but generally if you want something you have to work for it. Your dream job will not just land in your lap, no one is going to come along and simply offer you the chance to travel and sitting there constantly telling yourself that you just aren't one of those "lucky people" will not get you to where you want to be. All the time you sit there wishing and hoping could be time that you're putting into achieving your goals. At the start of 2016 I didn't really set any goals and I found that by the end of it I really wasn't where I wanted to be. I started to think that everyone else around me was just luckier than me but actually that isn't the case. I'm perfectly capable of achieving what I want to so this year I'm playing things a little differently, I'm setting specific goals and working towards the things I want to do. And if by the end of the year people want to turn around and say "isn't she lucky?" they can, but I'll know that it's because I worked for it.

Top - M&S

Trousers - Mango

Shoes - New Look

Watch - DKNY

Ring - Monica Vinader